HIM.

We know what a person thinks not when he tells us what he thinks, but by his actions.
- Isaac Bashevis Singer (1904 - 1991)

so reading that girls blogs seemed to upset me ALOT.
more than i would like.
see she speaks the truth about jalen.
things that i know firsthand.
and im thinking its only me but SUPRISE ( not really ) she does too.
shes been hurt in the SAME exact ways.
i know i should use what she's saying as a way for me to just leave him but just like her i can't.
and most likely i wont.

thats sad ?

its like what the hell does he possess that he makes every SINGLE girl he mack to

ends up in love.
like i NEVER ever felt this way for anyone BEFORE he came along.
it's kind of intriguing but in the same way hurtful.
he doesnt deserve the girls he hurts.
yet we all think we deserve him.

i dont want to be a "JALEN girl "

i hate those types.
so i made the descion to MOVE on and get ON.
but instead of that succeeding for at LEAST a month.

it didnt.



because i would like to believe that i've become so COLD towards others that i dont sympathize with anyone else but him.
i treat him better than the people who ACTUALLY deserve it.
it's gonna take a lot of will power for me to just let go of him.
but i feel as if i try i can do it.
everytime we get like this i make empty promises to myself that this IS indeed the last time.
three weeks later - we caked up on thee phone saying sorry and making more promises to never let it happen again.
each time we come back from an arguement i feel like i come back a new person.
someone who either is really WEAK or really STRONG.

most times its weak.

i fall hard and i dont know how to get back up.
you really mean alot to me but like i told you before ;

love dont hurt.

and that's all you seem to bring me.

hurt ; anguish ; heartbreak.