behind all of this ....

lies a girl , who wishes she was the best at everything . i try to be a great friend , not just a good one. i wanna be the prettiest girl in the world , cause everyone wishes they were bad . i feel insecure at times , but i would NEVER let it show . i'm just not that type of girl -- dont feel sorry for me because i wont feel sorry for you . i get angry at my friends , when they do what i do . i just want a group of friends with their own minds . i hate being the same as everyone else . i feel alone at times , and i just want to be loved . by you , or you .

im in love and its the worst feeling ever . it used to be with two people but things changed and i switched it up . i have only one person who holds my heart , and its so wrong -- so wrong . because im going out on a limb and trusting someone who hurt me before with everything & they dont even know this is happenning -- i wont ever TELL them . because they know . they know what to do -- i would like to believe that im something of importance to their life , since we are rekindling shit . im overthinking things . i know i am , because things are way too perfect in my head & dreams and something not totally but remotely differently in reality.

my love for you .

when you left , i cried for days - months . felt like years . felt like i wasted so much time , i couldnt understand what i couldve possibly done to make you do that to me. i couldnt grasp my mind around it . it didnt even hit me until the latter of the months . i almost went to drastic measures because my love for you was THAT deep . it still is clearly , and im almost afraid to grasp my mind around it again . i act like i dont care that much , but i really do . and i put them damn feelings on a back pedal for a reason and theyre slowly crawling up . i mean what can i do ? i dont know how to stop it . im frazzled by the thoughts of you -- your constantly in my brain . i dont want to text you for the simple fact of sanity . i dont want my sanity to be comprimised once more . i am so willing to risk everything again - ms shore told me that you always love the one who gave you the most knowledge . and that i do admit . you defintiely gave me all the knowledge i ever needed .

and thats why i will always love you .
i dont know what we gone get into yet , but i just hope it's as poppin as before.

i love you forever & always <3

what do you think you deserve ? *for nyny*

this blog is dedicated to the infamous nyasia .
i love you skinny bxtch , he'll recognize what it is sooner or later.

so out of all my years of experience with this topic there has been only two incidents where my heart was literally shattered into pieces , brought back together only to be broken again . i mean you know who these people are and if you don't its [bella & bestyboy] . My life felt like it was pointless because i put my heart out . the same way you did . our situations are completely different with the amound of time you know adam or whatever . but basically i felt like i knew them forever . and vice versa . to be hurt by being rejected , espeically by someone who is a complete downgrade -- hurts the most !

what does this bitch have over me ?

she aint got shit .
its just the simple fact that he is scared .
he is scared to be commited to one person , when there is a WHOLE array of females out there .
i mean i understand him -- but i understand you.

i been on both sides of the spectrum ( good choice of words ? )
but honestly niggas aint shit and neither are bitches.

i know your heart is hurting right now .
and you listening to slow songs , thinking how could this artist know im talking about him.
getting upset all over again -- but nahh YOU WILL get over it .

and you wont text him again because hes not even worth that .


pinky swear good girls always win in the end .
they look for the virgins in the long run .
so the bitch he fuckinq ? she only temporary .

i love you
(: