wow.

this girl is so effing smart. she should be my rolemodel. i mean she got her life SEMI on track. too bad i dont like her dumb ass. hahaha. i contradicted myself there. but anyways my arm is hurting so bad. because of volleyball. but ima beast. and ms. p says i am " wonderful " so there you un-believers in my athletic abilities. smh. anyways today was like any other day. im begginning to think i can sense the future. i aint talk to jae since he decided to effing hang up on me and never return phone calls / texts or anything like that. last night i sent him and china a text message. and did i grt one back from either one of them. no i didnt. so what does that tell me. move the fuck on. so i decided NOT to speak to china when i seen her at volleyball. right ? and who do i see first. i see him. and i forgot my own anger so i gave him a hug. and when i seen his suprise i remembered. so i left him. and went to the weight room and i finished all my water. and cousin kory who has a crush on me ( so weird - since they're COUSINS for crying out loud ) pants-ED me . thats what its called right. and everybody knows i NEVER EVER EVER wear draws when i got on shorts. whats the effing point. so he saw my ass. start trippin like he aint never seen ass before. ughh hes like a little kid. and now he keep calling me big booty judy. wich i am nowhere NEAR her. so i went to the new gym. and coach young told me he was gonna put up the bleachers so i went outside. seen china and shit. and she was acting "funny" but so have i so i cant even trip you know ? but i got irritated and left. big mistake. because i went to the gym and i seen dexter and his nasty ass had the nerve to say i wont get naked. BITCH YOUR RIGHT I WONT GET NAKED. not for you at least. but i said it politely. and then jae was playin b-ball and shit. then he seen me and tried to kiss me. but i cursed his ass out instead. like in baby boy. but he shut me up real quick by giving me a kiss. and i took it in. aint seen that nigga in like 8 days . i was feening for it. at least i got it from him ya know ? so he like wanna go for a walk. im like OKAY . since i was waiting for the twins anyways. and then next thing you know he laying me down. doing some shit he never ever ever ever ever did before. geesz. abstinence. that was my effing goal for the summer ( like hell ) ; couldnt take it anymore. so i say lets go to the little girlies room because lord knows i aint going in no nigga shit no more. some shit went down. i did something i aint never ever ever ever ever did before. and i dont even know what to say about it. but like a little bitch i start crying and shit because i love this nigga. i love that chick. even if theyre all twisted and like annoying and shit. its something i cant try to erase. i love a nigga. and i love a bitchh. ughh. but yeahh i dont know what to say to ol'boy just yet ; i aint answer any calls , no texts. i mean dude. its the summer and shit. i love you but i cannot cannot cannot be tied down. and thats his hidden agenda.
mhm.

ilysm
<3